bump 1 out of 10

bump 2 out of 10

bump 3 out of 10

>>131932918 (OP)
Поссал на нерусь.

>>131932918 (OP)
Suck dick.

ye goode ol' bvmpe 4 out of 10

>>131933058
>>131933066
Why do Russians always freak out when they hear the language of their masters?

>>131933134
Нихуя не понял и дежурно окропил мочой.

>>131933235
>2016
>not fluent in English

bump 5 out of 10

bump 6 out of 10

>>131932918 (OP)
Зачем он нужен, если я останусь в Раше?

Hello. My name is Sasha. I'm from Russia. I'm 25 years old. I like read, play tennis and football. I can read, write and speak. What you're name?

give me the pussy b0ss

>>131934573
My name is Lena. I'm 32 years old. I like read, write and jump. What youre name?

>>131934002
You feel superior to other people when you know English.

>>131934710
But I said my name already, you dense twat

>>131932918 (OP)
Английский нужно учить разве что только на уровне чтения, слушанье и это всё нахуй не нужно.
/thread

bump 7 out of 10

>>131935270
хз, учусь по специальности переводчик (могу пруфнуть) и чет ни разу не почувствовал, наверно стало слишком обыденным для меня

/test

>>131935747
Translate your message into English.

>>131936415
>I study to be an interpreter and have never felt that way. It must have gotten too ubiquitous for me.

>>131932918 (OP)
the worst engrish thread
as always
meh

>>131935434
like watching movies in english, preferably w/o subtitles. idk why but reading and listening for me is way easier that writing and speaking. anyways, any part of foreign language is important (including listening).

PRIVET
KAK DELA?

BAZARYU NA ANGLIYSKOM YOBA

OTLITCHNIY TRED

is there anybody who wants to practice writing english via skype?
not sure about my current level but i think it's pre-intermediate. so anyone with about my level is ok. leave your contacts. who knows, maybe some day we will be speaking to one another in english.

>>131937719
I'd like to, but I'm too shy for that.

>>131938957
same here, too shy. that's why said that we MAYBE SOME DAY will SPEAK in english using microphones. writing seems totally ok to me. any practice is better than no practice at all.

>>131937719
Sounds good, I'd like to try. I think I'm at the same lvl. My grammar is ok but I have a little vocabulary, that might be a problem.

>>131933134
>Why do

Как-то странно звучит.
они так не говорят.

hello 2ch

>>131934573
>>131934710
WHAT IS YOUR NAME?

>>131934710
Boobs or go to fuck over, slut.
You know rules/

>>131938957
>>131939315
if you don't want to use skype, u can leave your vk. we can star a conference there which is pretty convenient. of course i'm talking about your fake accounts.

>>131939472
Lexa and y?

>>131939508
ahahahhaha

>>131939495
>go to fuck over

get thr fuck out

>>131939342
WHAT?

>>131939509
ALYOSHA WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE? I TOLD YOU NOT TO COMMUNICATE WITH THESE PEOPLE THEY ARE BAD GO HOME NOW! WE HAVE SOMETHING SERIOUS TO TALK ABOUT TODAY!

>>131937584
norm
kak ti tak horosho na anglyiskom pisat nauchilsya?

>>131939665
Google translate

>>131933134
But this is not an Yiddish thread.
Yes, I googled how to write "Yiddish" correctly

>>131939472
MARTHA!

>>131939508
Skype gsl.first.gsl I'll be home in 2-3 hours.

Ребята, зачем вы учите этот никому ненужный, местечковый немецко-французский суржик? Лучше бы тратили своё время на латынь или древне-греческий.

>>131939221
>writing seems totally ok to me
Then you're not as fucked up as I am. For me writing is too social.

>>131940383
try thinner

bump 8 out of 10

bump 9 out of 10

Running low on bumps, gotta get some discussion going.

bump 10 out of 10

fuck this thread

>>131932918 (OP)
2ch, i've got a problem here. Sometimes I understand what people say or write in english, but I can't ask him. Help me

>>131941269
You need to improve your output skills.

>>131941719
Output?

>>131941841
Yes, writing and speaking. Reading and listening are input skills.

I've been graduated from Oxford, hence my english is perfect. And I shall gladly take this brilliant opportunity to urinate on the ugly pidorashques faces.

>>131942324
Ok, i'm understand. 2ch, I'm leaving you. 4ch waiting for me.

Hello. My english grammar sucks. how can i fix this problem ?

>>131942869
Can you just vipilit`sya?

>>131942552
Bro.

i like to put banana into my ass

thread is utonul

>>131944083
Cool. I think Russians like to put a bottle into their asses even more though.

>>131932918 (OP)
Зашквара тред

how come english threads are no longer popular here?
looks like pals who really know english well won't even bother posting itt. but where the hell people who want to learn english? everyone jerking off in fap threads or what? only payed kremlin bots and kids shouting about dota 2 everywhere, r u serious?

looks like even op-dick has abandoned this thread

Up. You hear me bitches?

>>131951625
There seems to be smth wrong with this thread. I just won't bump. Bloody hell!

wow, the thread's still up

>>131954246
Lol, there's nobody here but you and me, sir.

>>131954408
this is what you think. don't turn around

>>131947752
I share your confusion on that. Back in the day these threads would get 500 posts in two hours or even less, and I would start another one, then a third, a fourth, so on.
Now, none of English threads has been a success for like a month or two. That's odd stuff.

>>131954408
That being said, let's fuck.

>>131954554
It feels like the old /b is alive again. Damn, what an invigorating feeling!

>>131954863
On an imageboard? How is it even possible?

>>131955081
ez. im gonna fuck u with my massive astral dick.

>>131955360
Two large cups of finest British tea to you for making my evening! LMAO at the top of my voice. BTW, does that count for losing virginity?

In days of old
When knights were bold
And ladies weren't invented
They had to drill holes
In telegraph poles
And thus they were contended

>>131955683
MOAR, I beg you, MOAR!

Hi, guys. How are you today? What is your feeling? Is it all fine or it's another gloomy day again?

>>131955683
Bump, FTGJ!

>>131956253
IDK, honestly. Maybe it's called the not-giving-a-fuck feeling. Just lying aroind like a lazy cat all day, procrastinating and scrolling the Sosach. Thanks, Abu.

>>131956505
*around quickfix
BTW, how are you?

>>131956253
gloomy days just never end for me.
>>131955608
> BTW, does that count for losing virginity?
it sure counts for being fucked in the ass. so, in a manner of speaking, u can say u lost your virginity but nobody's gonna believe u anyway, because u and 'loosing virginity' is something from another dimension.

>>131956505
omg! look at that looser, he's spending his life scrolling this so-called imageboard full of retarded kids. ha-ha. thanks god im improving myself by watching japanese cartoons about panties and nekogirls. so, kids, think

OP should hang himself

>>131957343
> so, kids, think
so, kids, think twice before doing something
fix

Who are high itt?

Kek

Hello brothers. Why is this thread die?

>>131957372
ive always wanted to hang myself on a hook. im hungry for penetrating my spine with metal spikes, cause pain is so much fun! i also want to catch some people, hang them inside of my personal sex dungeon and play with them all nights along. omg even thinking of this makes me horny. i wonder, why people sometimes call me a psycho.

Word, fams. Whatcha been up to?

>>131957832
o-o-o! i just thought up a joke!
i hang a guy and then i hang another guy and say: hang out with your friend here for a bit :D
so, how do you like it? u can laugh hard its okay.

>>131957980
>Word, fams. Whatcha been up to?
10 Ways To Say Hi So Nobody Understands Anything

>>131957986
It don't work my man, it just don't. Hanging and hanging out are different things.

and don't you go off on my usage of "don't"

>>131958099
i know alright u dude r just stupid u didnt get my brilliant joke. i tend to make guys like u suffer irl but u r a lucky piece of shit i cant reach u. yet.

>>131958206
Stop writing like a 13 year old schoolboy. I mean all these u, r, i.

>>131958311
do i look like i give a shit? im way too lazy for holding shift button, so chill out man.

>>131956614
My mood changed polarity so many times today. I really don't know what to do. It came recently and has lasted for two weaks. Sudden comrehension of my failure.

иф ю вонт ту хев э брозер, толк ю фазер фак ю мазер
вот такие у меня познания английского

>>131958464
looks like u r on your periods right now, gal.
u can try and summon a demon with your vagina blood. trust me, its gonna be awesome.

>>131958565
Wish i had a vagina. That would be so funny.

>>131958483
wow
gr8 rhythm, m8
u should consider becoming a rapper

What books can you recommend me to improve my English
I'm 14 y.o. old

>>131958659
yeah having a vagina is a cool thing
u can masturbate yourself literally to death
female orgasm is a thing

Sup guys, i wonna your advice about remembering new english words. How have you been remembering them(Am i correct with "them"?)

>>131958877
well, now when i think of it its not really a honorable death, image someone finding me dead with my pants off, dildo inside of my pussy and hilarious face impression lol.

>>131932918 (OP)
go fuck stupid pindos slava putinu

>>131958969
listen, u just come across a word u don't know, u looks at it carefully trying to memorize it, write it down to learn it some time later. but u never learn it because fuck this shit

>>131959207
> look
fix

>>131958990
im mean i don't have a pussy. i was just imagining things. i always thin of strange stuff. just to make it all clear. also bump the thread.

>>131958723
any book will work for u, seriously. if u r not good enough at english to study by, strictly speaking, books in english just pick a book in russian. but honestly speaking books are for pussies, go raid on 4chan and use internet wisely. next time u look for porn, look for english grammar rules instead.

Oh shit sosach tell my why am i faggot? Do u know what have i done during this day? Correct - nothing. I have been scrolling 2ch for a 5 hours or more. I could read a book or learn math or something else what usually does true nerd. Except I'm writing in the fucking ENG thread with the hopeness that someone will notice my snots. I'm a marginal, twoch, just MrFaggotWorm worse than me.

>>131960132
So what do you want from us?

>>131960132
oh its ok. do whatever the hell u want. u won't get better, anyway. u r just slowly dying, fading away from this world. nothing's gonna help u. u have to put up with this. u r nothing more than a short line between two dates on a gravestone.

>>131960622
R u tryin' 2b philosophical?

>>131960485
2ch is a place where every pathetic worm can whine about his as well pathetic life.

>>131960797
no, im just being a dick. but i can't help it.

>>131960811
It once was, but now it's a board for successful freelancers making 300k per second

>>131960935
no-no-no. its now a kindergarten more likely.

>>131957028
>u and 'loosing virginity' is something from another dimension.
I cannot but agree with you, sir.
Sad-frog.jpg

Hello viper

>>131961166
ok listen here
its like pick-uping a hot chick u know. u just confidently walk towards her (make sure u put on your best adidas set), look straight into her eyes and say some thing like 'hey yopt bitch, come drink some shit and then fuck under my stupidly rare turkish carpet'. no bitch can stand radical this offer! as simple as that. be sure u squad down while learning, this helps your brain action well.

>>131961985
> radical this offer
this radical offer
fix

bump tho

>>131961985
>>131962945
you two stop this cringe parade please

up

>>131939508
i'm in! but i dont want to leave my accounts for everybody to see 'em. any suggestions?

>>131932918 (OP)
Hello, /b/rothers. There's nice thread you have here. I think, it's sad that english threads are so rare this days.

>>131966150
they're not rare, they just drown fast cause no one really interested in.

>>131942707
>4ch
VK - schoolboy detected.

>>131965494
that's a problem. nobody wants to reveal their actual accounts either. on top of that, i need to recall my password, i haven't really been using vk for ages. on the other hand, i think nobody gives a shit about our accounts, they're nothing more but fakes, anyway.

>>131932997
What would you prefer, for in the eye or a dick I'm your buthole?

>>131967403
> I'm your buthole
yeah, u sure r a butthole. also an asshole.

hello guys, how you doin

>>131967498
Sorry, that was auto-correct. I meant to say "in"

Idleness is the devil's toy. This is firstly.
Second - go in for sports. Do not be there in the corners smoking, shabit, wank, masturbate on the corners, which of course is the same.
Just doing nothing - it is a toy of the devil, I repeat there is. Well ... The whole world is against me, but I'm right, there is the same. I am inspired by it. And, guys, do not lose your head in the first place and all the benefits you have as

What's about the Lampoviy skype conference mentioned a few posts earlier? Or all of you guys have slilisj nahooy?

>>131932918 (OP)
guys, give me interesting sites on which i can learn english. In school i am dont learn english, dont know any grammar rules. I wanna be yoba-progromist and for this i must can speak on eng on intermediate level minimum. Писал сразу, ничего не гуглив, киньте сайты, вообще не знаю к чему приступить, у меня дырявая база.

>>131969833
native-english.ru is more than enough.

>>131969984
pasiba, а можешь какие-то ошибки сразу выделить в написанном мною? Или там их слишком дохуя?

>>131970268
im not used to pointing out people's mistakes and im way too lazy for this shit.

>>131970514
zhalko

>>131970268
sli6komdohuja

>>131932918 (OP)
Ahora es el hilo de español. Inglés, ¡ve te a la mierda!

>>131970868
Geh nach Hause, Hurensohn.

>>131970868
Ive te? Eres eblan?

>>131971056
No, porque tú eres el gran maricón.

>>131969335
everyone's afraid of leaving contacts here. we all are just a bunch of paranoid shit with a lot of insecurities.

>>131971251
Lo que insinuaba fue que no había escuchado ninguna vez "ive te" y me parece raro y acaso falso.

>>131971789
Tengo que rehusar el ofrecimiento ya que estoy casi dormido

>>131932918 (OP)
Fucking english imperialists! Stop your gegemony! Give liberty for your colonies!

>>131972063
Si si ahora es correcto, mi querido amigo. Para serte sincero yo tampoco podía recordar la forma imperativa del "ir" pero tenía certeza que tu estabas equivocándose

>>131972402
No, amigo. Primero, no se puede decir "esto sea más correctamente" pero "más correcto" ya que necesitamos adjetivo aquí.
Segundo, "estoy durmiendo " quiere decir "ya splu", y "estoy dormido" - "ya sonnyy"

bump и я съёбываю.

>>131972962
Реквестирую продолжение.

Sälam, yegetlär. Bu threadta tatar telenne añlílarmı?

Сегодня со мной случилось то, о чем я читал только в анекдотах. Да, это старая добрая история про говно, и не просто про говно, а про протухшее, пахнущее так, будто оно осело тонкой пленкой в легких. Начиналось все довольно обыденно и безобидно- я должен был вычистить отстойник у бабушки и дедушки. Для точности скажу, что действие происходит в деревне довольно далеко от крупных городов, мои родственники OCHE старые, поэтому я иногда приезжаю к ним помочь. В это свежее летнее утро я был особенно уверен в том, что смогу горы свернуть. Старики как раз ушли на базар, и, оставшись один, я включил музыку и полез за дренажным насосом. Насос представляет из себя синий конус с ручкой, местом крепления провода и шланга наверху и собственно самой дырой для сосания внизу. Кто-то из вас, аноны, задался вопросом, а куда деть шланг? Тут на помощь приходят соседи- алкаши с поголовьем в 35 свиней. Живут они на деньги с зарезанных свиней и продажи самогона. По воле судьбы, они были твердо убеждены, что свиньи очень любят грязь, а в особенности человеческое говно и мочу вперемешку. Поэтому срать они ходили в загон, а также за бутылку их сивухи просили подводить шланг к загону. Подключив насос к сети я опустил его в открытый отстойник и стал смотреть за уровнем говна и мочи в нем, к слову глубина его 4.5 метра и где-то на двух метрах есть выступ, заложенный кирпичами. Через 30 минут случилась проблема- шланг насоса зацепился за выступ. Недолго думая я взял небольшую палку и попытался скинуть его вниз. Это получалось, но меня обдало фантаном ЕБАНОГО говна, я блять в ярости бросился тыкать палкой в насос, орать проклятия, палка была короткой и я лез все дальше. Хуяча палкой по насосу я забылся и уже падая понял, что тапочек скользкий, а бетон гладкий. Упав, я просто не поверил, что такое могло случиться. Упал вниз головой и с вытянутыми руками, которые вошли по локоть в массу. Стоит отдельно описать ее- это не обычное крепкое говно, а настоявшееся, смешанное с мочой, сверху похожее на масло, а внутри на пластилин с кусочками морковки и хуй знает чего еще варево (оно стало нагреваться, так как температура воздуха становилась аномально горячей). Оно оказалось у меня во рту, густо заплыло в нос, даже в ушах. Тогда мне было всё равно даже на это- вонь была непередаваемое, представьте вареный понос, приправленный тухлым калом, перетертым на тёрке. Кое как перевернувшись я попытался встать на ноги и тогда понял весь пиздец. Я утопал в говне и жижа подступала ко рту. К счастью этот ЕБУЧИЙ насос работал и отсасывал массу прямо у моего рта, нахально брызгая мочиной в глаза. Шансов на спасение извне нет- дед с бабкой придут с базара через 3 часа, соседи спят в пьяном угаре, а умирать, захлебнувшись говном, с разорванным пузом от насоса не хотелось. Тогда я принялся топить этого уебка. Утрамбовывая его под ноги я постепенно стал все ближе подлезать к выступу, но не тут-то было. Насос создавал эту авиационную турбулентность, только в масштабах говняной ямы. Я в отчаянии стал бить по нему ослабшими ногами, а потом палкой, которая свалилась туда вместе со мной. Наконец мне удалось его выключить, через час я был чистым и дрожащими руками убирал место говняной казни. По двору разлился весь жидкий понос, который должен был течь к свиньям, а животные от страха сломали загон и бегали по двору и постепенно охуевая от страха. В итоге, родственники приехали раньше, бабка чуть не померла от остановки сердца, увидев у себя во дворе 35 свиней, озеро говна и разбитый вдребезги насос, который я методично разрывал ножницами для резки металла.